Putting The Pieces Together
by Ellixer
Summary: Sequal to 'The Pieces Left.' Gabrielle is on a new journey with a baby and her warrior princess
1. Chapter 1

Title: Putting the Pieces Together

Rating: M

Author: Ellixer

Pairing: X/G

Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.

Note: A sequel to The Pieces Left. A new life with a baby and the Warrior Princess.

Side Note: I purposefully left the babies condition vague as there were no real diagnoses back then. But for clarification, the child is mentally handicapped, nothing specific really though I lean towards Down Syndrome. Did a tiny bit of research on the subject, since most people could not read and write the only important thing was if the disabled child can work.

'Ok.' She says, as she feels my body tense. 'Push.' I try to both deal with the pain and do what she is saying, but it's hard. My body feels like it's on fire; I think a monster is crawling out from between my legs. I barely hear Xena's instructions to push, every time the pain hits; but somehow I manage to do what she says until I feel a tearing sensation and suddenly it doesn't hurt quite as much.

I try to lift my head to see the baby, but Xena is bent over it.

'Xena?' My voice trembles. There's a soft cry from the baby, but not very loud.

'It's a boy.' She says, lifting him up in her arms. 'But Gabrielle….' She trails off as she stares down at the baby. After a moment she sits him on my chest and goes back to work between my legs. My eyes are blurry with tears as I realize what's just happened. I can't believe it.

'Gabrielle.' Xena looks at me solemnly, but I don't know why. He's alive, what could be wrong. 'Look at him.'

'What?'

'Look.' She points slowly, and finally I see what she's talking about. This baby is imperfect, most would say the God's are angry with me and are punishing me. I say, he's a blessing no matter what the reason. His tongue sticks out of his mouth, and he's unusually quiet for a newborn. I've seen this before, when I was really young.

'Perdicus had a sister.' I run my finger down the soft cheek. 'She died when she was only three. She was just like this.'

'Are you ok?' Xena asks.

'I understand if you can't deal with this, but I will love this baby no matter what.' Xena smiles, coming around to the side of the bed.

'How can I not love something that comes from you?' Her finger plays with the tiny hand. 'He's beautiful.' Suddenly, I feel complete.

'What is his name?' My mother is standing at the end of the bed, afraid to move any closer. Looking up at her, I flash my most reassuring smile.

'Cleon.' He is my glory, my gift; and I am not ashamed of this innocent baby that is sleeping against my breast.

'Babies like him don't always live long.' These words sting; pierces my heart and blood leaks into my chest.

'I know.' I think I hate her for saying that. I refuse to believe that my baby will not grow into a strong man. He may never marry or be more than a farmer, but he will live.

'So you'll keep him then?' This is more of a statement than a question. She sounds surprised and, I don't know, disgusted.

'He is your grandchild.' Tears sting at my eyes as I gaze down at him.

'Yes.' It's a whisper. But she makes no effort to move or say any more. Cyrene and Xena have been hovering outside the bedroom door, so now they make an entrance. Cyrene is an amazing woman I think. She wastes no time coming over to the bed, reaching her arms out towards the baby.

'Can I hold him?' She whispers in wonder. I don't need to even respond as I hand him up without hesitation. 'You get some rest dear. I'll bring him when he wakes.' She looks at me with shining eyes. I nod and smile. 'Come.' Cyrene commands my mother as she walks by her. Mother follows without hesitation but refuses to look at the bundle in Cyrene's arms.

'I should have cleaned you up before.' Xena apologizes as she shuts the door.

'You were excited.' I smile as a grin spreads across her face. Walking over with a bucket and a cloth, she sits on the edge of the bed for a second.

'Are you ok?' She asks, leaning her forehead against mine.

'I will be.' There's no point in lying. We both sigh, letting the frustration go.

'Come on, let's get you clean.'

Xena takes her time wiping my body down and helping me into a clean chemise. She helps me into a chair before going about cleaning the bed and the room. I'm in awe at the many facets of Xena's personality. So much depth that she just never shows to anyone, except me. I've been given a gift in this life.

'Xena?'

'Hmm?' My eyes follow her movements.

'Is it really ok that…..that Cleon will not be like others?' She stops, turning around to face me with a serious expression.

'Is it ok for you?' She asks.

'Yes, of course. He's my child, I love him just for that. But…I've seen children like him. They are slower, they have health problems.' She sighs, looking down at her hands for a second.

'I've seen them too.' Her voice has turned somber, her eyes try to focus on me but she's finding it hard.

'When you were a warlord?'

'Yes, but neither I nor my army ever touched them. But I've seen what other men have done, and it's…..' Shaking her head, she turns and continues her task.

'Xena? Do you love me, really?' She chuckles, but answers without turning.

'Yes, I do.'

'Do you….want a family?' She turns again, with a sigh.

'I never thought about it.' Xena kneels down in front of me, her hands resting on my thighs. 'Why?'

'Because, I really want you to be a parent to my son. I want him to be our son.' I'm trying to gauge her true feelings, but her eyes remain emotionless.

'Are you sure that's what you want?'

'Only if you're sure. Please don't feel obligated or sorry for me. I couldn't handle that.' Her eyes melt into a myriad of emotions now.

'I don't think you know how much you mean to me?' She whispers.

'I could say the same.' I give her a little smile.

'Then you don't need to ask me, do you?'

'Just so I can hear it?'

'I don't deserve you, I don't deserve your son. But if you want to give me the gift of this family, I cannot possibly say no.' She leans in, lips brushing softly against mine. 'I'll do anything for you, with no regrets. I'd be proud to call him my son.' She kisses me deeply, passion flowing from her lips to mine. 'Now, let me finish.' With a parting kiss, she stands up and gets back to work.

'You know, I don't think I deserve you.' I'm serious but she chuckles.

'Stop talking and close your eyes. Your baby will want to eat soon.'

'No Xena, our baby.'


	2. Chapter 2

Pieces Together 2

I think she feels awkward in this new role. Family is just not a concept she is used to, her childhood was just too long ago. Her stance, her face when she thinks I'm not looking; all tell me she wants to escape. Love can't overcome all of her emotional blockades, she has to bring some of those walls down herself.

'The militia is going to be going north for a few days.' She says casually as she brushes Argo. 'Village is having trouble with raiders and they need our help.'

'Are you going?' Cle is asleep in my arms as I gently rock him back and forth.

'No.'

'Why not?' She turns, trying not to look frustrated.

'I can't leave you two. It's only been a few days since you gave birth.'

'Xena. Go, we'll be fine. I'm sure Cyrene will make sure we're ok, she's here nearly every minute of the day as it is.' She sighs. 'Go on. I know you're dying to get out there.' I smile but she frowns at my statement.

'It's not that I don't want to be here…'

'Xena, it's who you are.' I would never dream of forcing her to stay.

'Are you sure?' She's fighting between feeling guilty and feeling relieved.

'Yes.' I reach up, cupping her cheek in my hand. 'We'll be fine.' Finally she smiles.

'We shouldn't be gone long. A few days at most.'

'Just be careful.' Leaning down, she kisses me on the lips.

'Promise.' She takes off in a run towards the house to get her things.

We haven't had time to get used to this whole thing. I still feel awkward in this relationship, still all so new. I have no doubts in my feelings, but sometimes I doubt the logic. How long can we possibly last like this? If it was just the two of us on the road, then only death would separate us. But now, her restlessness and barricades constantly pull her away from me.

'Oh, there you are dear.' Cyrene comes walking out to the pasture where I still stand. 'So she's going away for a few days?' Her fingers rub against Cle's cheek.

'Yeah. It'll be good for her.' I'm not sure I want to know the answer, but I ask anyway. 'Is my mother still here?'

'Yes.' She gives me a sad look.

'Why? She refuses to come see her grandchild again.'

'Well, I think she's just trying to get used to the idea of everything.' She puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. 'It's a good sign that she hasn't left.'

'Yeah, I guess.' As I gaze down at my child, I wonder if Cyrene will be the only grandparent he knows. Even if Xena and I weren't together, she would have adopted my child as part of her family.

'I can stay here if you need me.' Cyrene offers. I'm not sure what it'll be like when Xena is gone. I haven't been left alone with Cle for more than a couple of hours; what will days be like?

'No, but thank you. I think we need some alone time anyway.' Ducking my head down, I kiss Cle's forehead. He gurgles in his sleep, arms shifting a few times.

'Why she would want to leave this beautiful baby to go fight, is beyond me.' Cyrene mumbles.

'Well, he isn't hers Cyrene.' It's the truth. She doesn't have the same attachment as I do, or a father would.

'Yes well, that shouldn't matter.' She looks at me defiantly.

'But it does.' I give her a reassuring smile, as Cle begins to stir. 'Looks like it's almost time to eat.' Cyrene follows me around the barn and back to the house. Xena is just coming out, saddle bags and weapons in hand. She looks nearly ecstatic, a renewed vigor apparent in her stride. Cyrene shakes her head at her daughter, not saying anything.

'Don't have too much fun.' I grin at her. She screws her face up like that couldn't be further from the truth.

'You're going to check in right?' She looks at her mother sternly, but Cyrene isn't fazed.

'Yes dear.' Xena cocks her eyebrow up in question.

'We'll be fine.' I interject, but Xena is not so sure.

'Don't leave the farm. Mother will bring you anything you need.' She kisses both mine and Cle's forehead. 'Promise me.'

'I promise.' Jeesh, if she's so worried, why is she so happy to leave? Xena is off down the road within minutes, barely a goodbye before she left. Cyrene leaves, promising to come back with food so I don't have to cook. Now, it's just me and Cle, sitting in this empty house.

Cle begins to fuss in my arms so I pull the top of my dress down, allowing him to suckle at my breast. Sitting on the front porch in my rocking chair, I feel at peace despite the lingering loneliness. The peace is shattered though, as my mother comes walking up. She stands in front of me, silent as her eyes stare down at her feeding grandchild.

'Hello mother.' I can't help that I say this with a deep sigh.

'I've come to tell you I'm leaving.' Her voice shakes with hesitation.

'You didn't need to do that. Cyrene could have told me.' I stare at her with the best passive face I can manage.

'I'm sorry Gabrielle.'

'For what?' I wish she would just leave, not drag this out.

'For not being the mother you need.' I shrug my shoulders at her.

'I love you, you're my mother. But I'm disappointed and saddened at your choice in actions.' She winces a little, as if I hit her.

'You are already a better mother than I ever was.' Her fingers caress my cheek a moment before she turns, walking away for good. I cry, mourn for the loss of one family just as I start a new one. My only hope is that Lila doesn't react the same.

He's so tiny, so vulnerable. Cupping water in my hand, I pour it little by little down his body. His arms and legs are moving around as he voices his dislike of being washed. I've been wondering what to tell Cle about his father. Do I say anything at all, or do I just tell him that Perdicus died a hero?

I've completely forgotten about his family; surely they've heard by now that I am carrying their son's child. I won't deny them the opportunity to know their grandson, but I'm afraid their reaction will be just like my mothers. Maybe I'll just message them, tell them everything and let them decide after that. I am in no mood for more rejection right now.

Finishing the bath, I wrap Cle up in a cloth and bring him close to my chest. I'm trying to remember all the stories I heard when I was a kid, and some I've learned since. I'm sure he has no idea what I'm saying, but the sound of my voice seems to sooth him.

I carry my little bundle in my arms, walking around the house as I tell the story of a magical horse. He makes noises and fusses, but soon is lulled to sleep. Finally, my thoughts turn to Xena. She is probably the best warrior I know, but still I worry, I always have. I hate being left behind, but now I have a more important mission.

After settling Cle down in his cradle, I sit down, attempting to write for the first time in months. I won't be able to tell stories of Xena's heroic deeds anymore, it's just not the same if I'm not there to witness it. I think for once, I might write my story. It may not go down in history as something significant or important, but that doesn't matter to me. So where do I start? The beginning, with my childhood? Maybe just start at the point Xena enters my life; that is when the true adventure began.

Taking out a piece of parchment and my favorite quill; I slowly scribe the journey I have made and the journey I continue to make. My life is only just beginning. While it may not be as exciting as battle giants or God's, it is the most important journey I have made thus far.


	3. Chapter 3

Pieces Together 3

Sleep. I'm not sure that word exists at the moment. He is crying even though I've done everything I can think of. His skin feels warm but I'm not sure if that's a fever or just because he hasn't stopped crying. I don't know what to do. Panic is beginning to build by the second, I haven't seen Cyrene, and Xena still hasn't showed up. I'm sure I'm overreacting but…

I try to bathe him in cool water, but he still seems to be hot. Now he's finally cried himself to sleep, but there is definitely something wrong. I put him in his cradle and begin to pace the bedroom. Maybe I should just walk to the tavern. Cyrene is probably busy, but I'm sure she knows what to do. Looking down at his sleeping form, I watch as he begins to cough and cry all over again. Shit.

Bundling him in my arms, I make the journey to the tavern. The sun is beginning to go down, people are coming in from the fields. They wave, they smile, but my focus is straight ahead as I clutch Cleon to me. Making my way around the tavern, I go in through the back door, startling Cyrene and her staff. She takes one look at me and knows something is wrong.

'What is it?' She comes up to me, grasping me by my arms.

'I don't know, I think he's sick.' She immediately takes the baby out of my panicked arms, pulling the blanket away and examining him. He's coughing, a deep heavy disturbing cough that makes me cringe.

'Oh dear.' She sighs. 'You girls are going to have to handle things tonight.' She informs her staff as she walks off to her room. Sitting him gently on the bed, she completely undresses him.

'He has a fever and this cough is bad. I have some paste I can make to rub on his chest.' She stands back up, walking to me and putting a hand on my shoulder. 'Don't worry, he'll be fine.' She gives me a smile then walks off. Kneeling down next to the bed, I feel the fear seep into my heart. If something happens to him, I don't know that I can handle it. Cyrene comes shuffling back in, a small bundle in her hands.

'I've sent for the healer.' She brushes past me, sitting her things down on the bed next to Cle. 'This should be good enough until he gets here.' Next to her is a small bowl of a dark green substance. Sticking her fingers in, she scoops up a big glob and starts to rub it across his chest. The smell is nearly unbearable.

'What is that?'

'It will help him breathe.' I notice how she avoided answering. Maybe I don't want to know. Cyrene leaves again to go wait for the healer. I take Cle's tiny hand in mine, marveling at how small it is. His breathing is starting to become labored and he hasn't cried for nearly half an hour. I begin to pray to every God I can think of. I don't care if they can do anything or not, they will hear my cries for help.

The next few hours go by so slowly. The healer merely repeats what Cyrene said, not offering any real new information. He does however give me a liquid to drip into his mouth when I can. They both leave, mumbling quietly as they go. Laying down next to Cle, I watch the rise and fall of his chest. Why do I have to do this alone? Cyrene can only do so much, but why is she all I have? Unintentionally my eyes begin to droop, no matter how hard I fight it. I can't stop the sleep that overcomes me.

As my eyes open, I immediately notice Cle isn't on the bed next to me. Flying into a panic I race out of the room, running into Cyrene and nearly knocking her over.

'Relax dear, he's ok.' I only calm a fraction, I need to see my son. 'In the kitchen.' She steps aside to allow me by. I try not to run the short distance, but it's nearly impossible for me to keep my cool. Xena is standing at the table with Cle in a small washbasin. She's gently trying to wash off the paste her mother spread all over his chest. I can't tell if he's breathing, he doesn't seem to be moving either.

'Is he…?' My voice cracks.

'He's fine.' Xena whispers back. I can't move, my feet are stuck to the floor. So many emotions rush through me, but then I hear him start coughing again.

'What do we do?' I ask frantically, coming up to her side. Wrapping him back in a blanket, she holds him up near her shoulder. She finally looks at me, her eyes are red but I don't see any evidence of tears.

'I'm sorry.' A lone tear slides down her cheek. Right now, I can't bring myself to tell her it's not her fault. Since I don't say anything she continues. 'We need to keep him elevated, and I have a better cream for his chest. He'll be ok.' She pats his back lightly as he launches into a coughing fit. The sound breaks my heart.

We both sit at the table, holding a quiet vigil as he lies against Xena's chest. She's whispering in his ear, but I can't hear what she's saying. I'm starting to feel guilty for being angry with her.

'I'm sorry I wasn't here.' She says, as if reading my thoughts. 'When I left, I was thinking that I was just proving everyone right; that I can't think about anyone but myself.' I try to say something, but she shakes her head at me. 'I said I love you, and I meant it. Sometimes I just get scared and it overwhelms me. But the whole time I was gone….' She doesn't want to reveal any more, but swallows hard and continues. 'I thought of you, and Cle the whole time. The fighting didn't make me feel like it used to, alive.'

'Let me hold him, you can go get washed up.' I guess this is my way of accepting her apology. Kissing Cle on the top of his head, she gently hands him over to me. There's a flicker of sadness in her eyes before she covers it with her mask. Silently, she walks out, leaving me to my thoughts once more.

The night is fraught with worry, as Cleon makes no improvement. At some point, Cyrene makes us take an empty room so that we may at least take turns sleeping. I tried to tell her that neither of us will probably get any rest, but she insisted so we complied. There was no reason to argue, a bed is much more comfortable than a chair.

We both sit on the bed, backs against the wall. Xena put a fresh coating of cream on Cle's chest, this kind smelling significantly better than the one Cyrene made. I lean against Xena, my head on her shoulder as she holds Cle in her arms. I've tried to feed him, but each time he only suckles a tiny bit.

'I wasn't really mad at you.' I say at some point near sunrise.

'No, but I was angry at myself.'

'So you didn't have any fun while you were gone?' I raise my eyebrow, skeptically.

'Well, maybe a little.' She grins.

'That's what I thought.' I pull the blanket up over our legs. We've both stripped to our shifts, these being more comfortable than our other clothes. 'He's going to be ok, isn't he?' I ask her softly, hoping to hear something good.

'A lot of babies get sick like this. Some make it and some don't.' That was not in any way reassuring. 'But he will make it, I'll make sure he does.' Coughing interrupts our conversation. At some points, he seems to struggle for breathe, causing my heart to fall into my stomach. But Xena remains calm, using every skill as a healer that she has ever learned.

As morning comes, Xena begins to sing softly. It's a rare thing to hear, so calming and soothing. Even as a new day dawns, Cle hasn't gotten any better. The only consolation is that he hasn't gotten any worse either.

'Is there anything else we can do?'

'No.' Xena nearly sounds defeated at this point. 'We just keep doing this.'

'You girls let me take him for a while. You need to sleep.' Cyrene walks in, looking at us worried. 'You can't help him if you're exhausted.' I want to fight her on this, but she wont let me. 'I'll wake you up if there is any change.' She gently bundles Cle in her arms, walking out the door without another word.

'She's right.' Xena mumbles.

'I know.' We lie down, curling into each other, foreheads touching. I play with her fingers, still fighting off sleep. 'I did need you, I was so scared.' Tears finally start to fall, I've been holding them back, trying not to crack. She kisses my lips softly, fingers caressing my cheek.

'I love you.' She whispers.

'I love you too.'

'I don't know why.'

'Me neither.' I grin.

'Probably because I'm irresistible.' She cocks her eyebrow up, looking full of herself.

'Yeah, well, I don't know about that.'

'Hey, you mean to say you could stay away from this?' She looks at me in mock indignation.

'No probably not.' I giggle for the first time in days. She kisses me again, soft, reassuring. 'I don't think we've had a chance to do this properly.' I mumble against her lips, my breath mingling with hers. Her hand slides across my waist and down to my lower back.

'Hmm, if I wasn't so tired….' She grins, nipping at my bottom lip.

'Definitely going to happen though.' I place little kisses along her jaw.

'Oh, yes.' She pulls me in, teasing her lips against my cheek. 'But now, we sleep.' I tuck my head under her chin, wrapping my arms around her waist. Our legs tangle as we ease into sleep. I'm trying not to think about Cle and living life without him. The thoughts plague me no matter how hard I try to ignore them. I finally fall into a fitful sleep, full of nightmares and pain.


	4. Chapter 4

Pieces Together 4

It's three days before we finally go home. It took this long to break him of his cough, though it hasn't completely left yet. The sound is not as deep and racking; still something that I cringe at though. He is getting better, I have to thank the God's for that.

I finally have a moment to sit down and write Perdicus' family. God's what do I say to them? How do I even start?

_There are no words to describe what it is like to lose someone you love. However I have been blessed with the ability to continue your son's memory with the birth of our son Cleon. I am deeply sorry that I did not come to grieve with you, and that I have not informed you of your grandchild…. _

Something seems so cold about my words. I continue to write, but the words have no emotion. I explain in the simplest of terms that Cleon is not like the others. I keep it short and simple, and despite my skills as a bard, my words are not flowery or prosaic. Xena's hand trails across the back of my shoulders, bringing an end to my brooding.

'Are you sure?' She asks simply.

'No, but it's the right thing to do.' Her hand comes to a rest on my neck. 'You know, when I started out with you, I saw the world so simply.'

'And now?' Her hand slides around my neck and down my chest.

'Things aren't as bright as they used to be.' Leaning down, she whispers right against my ear.

'You are my brightness.' I giggle at her.

'You can be so sweet.'

'Don't tell anyone.' She whispers again. As I stand, she wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me back against her body. 'How long has he been asleep?' Her voice has turned husky, her hands splayed on my abdomen.

'Not long.' I can't stop the small shiver her lips against my ear brings. In one deft move, Xena spins me around and lifts me to sit on the edge of the table. Giving me a lecherous smile, her body presses against mine as her lips descend upon my neck. Calloused hands slide up my thighs and under my thin dress, coming around to cup my butt as her hips grind into me.

I'm about to wrap my legs around her, but I find there is a barrier between her skin and mine. Lucky for me, Xena is dressed only in a shift. My hands work desperately to pull the thin material up to her waist, where my legs promptly wrap as her hips grind into my newly exposed dampness.

But all of this is not enough; little more than a tease of what I really want to feel. It's taking nearly every amount of self control to keep the moans from escaping my lips. I'm not about to have a crying baby interrupt this desperately needed moment.

Warm, wet lips travel down my neck and to the crevice of my breasts. Her cheek nuzzles against one before she captures a nipple, moaning against my skin. I throw my head back, gritting my teeth to keep from screaming. There's nothing I can do but hold on to the table as her hand slides down between us. Wasting no time, her fingers slide into me as her hips move against mine. The added force is oh so exhilarating, it burns through my body. Her fingers move hard, but not fast, making my body tingle with desire.

Xena continues to moan against my breast, no doubt getting a little more in response than usual. She doesn't seem to be hindered by the fact I'm lactating though. She's gentle about it, knowing my breasts are more sensitive than usual.

The silence is only broken by the occasional gasp and whimper. My fingers are clutching at the edge of the table, knuckles turning white. Burning starts in my lower belly, till there's a fire exploding through my body. Clamping my mouth shut tight, I manage to hold in the scream that wants to shatter the walls as my body jerks up and my lungs stop working.

It takes a minute for my muscles to relax, finally allowing my head to fall against Xena's shoulder where I gasp against her skin. As my senses return, so does the lust; my lips and teeth seeking out her olive skin. Her breathing is quick and hot in my ear, small moans of frustration manage to escape her lips. I give in quickly, wanting to feel her as much as she wants to feel me.

My fingers crawl down her stomach, grazing across her curls making her breath hitch. I explore with great care and slowness, wanting to feel, and memorize, and caress. Her hips are jerking as she whimpers, begging for release. So I give in, sliding three fingers into the warmth, and God's does it feel good.

We both turn to seek out each other's lips in desperate urgency. Tongues tangle as we battle for command, but she loses once my hand starts pumping against her hips. We swallow each other's moans, unable to separate even as her body begins to tense in anticipation. Suddenly, her head arcs back, a deep growl emanating from within her throat as the release she had sought finally comes.

Her fingers cling to my back, digging deep to ensure she doesn't fall as her legs begin to weaken. But I pull her to me, determined to hold her up until the temporary high leaves. Although for me, the high doesn't feel short lived, it feels like forever.

I bring my forehead to hears, as she leans down towards me. A small smile is playing at her lips as she continues to pant.

'Can I tell you something?' I whisper, amazed Cle has remained asleep so far.

'What?'

'It was never like this with Perdicus.' I wonder how she'll take this. No doubt with her experience, she's had lovers ten times better than me. But I need her to know, that for me, she has no one to compete with.

'Really?' She asks after a moment of silence. She pulls her head back slightly, her blue eyes piercing my green ones.

'Really.' She knows I'm not lying. Her hands clasp either side of my face as silence reigns for a few heart beats.

'You know I've had a few lovers.' Not regret, just stating a fact.

'I know.' I don't think any of them had the Xena I have.

'Does that bother you?' Her eyes narrow, she's watching my face closely.

'No.'

'They don't compare, not even close.' Her thumb runs across my bottom lip.

'Were you like this then?'

'Like what?' Her eyebrow raises.

'Gentle, caring, sweet. The person you are with me, right this moment.' There's a small sigh.

'No.' She shakes her head, thinking back. I can see the faraway look in her eyes. 'A couple got a little bit of me, but I've never given all.' Her hands drops and she turns, walking away with a sigh. I don't move, still sitting on the edge of the table.

'Are you giving me all of you?' I ask, though I know she's not. She's fighting to keep at least a piece hidden from me.

'No.' She sits on the end of the bed, looking at me with guilt.

'Do you want to?' Could there be someone else out there that Xena would give herself too willingly? Suddenly my thoughts are consumed with fear and paranoia. Maybe I'm not good enough, maybe there is someone else who's better. I feel hands on my hips, startled to find Xena standing in front of me again; her eyes flick back and forth across my face. Tears begin to sting at my eyes; I can't stop them from coming.

'Don't cry.' She whispers pleadingly. I swallow hard, but the tears still come.

'Am I enough?' My voice is so quiet, there's nearly no sound.

'Of course you are.' She sighs again, pulling me against her chest as her arms wrap around my back. 'No one else could have made me do all this. To stop looking for a fight and to be normal for once.'

'Xena I don't…'

'No, you aren't forcing me and I don't feel obligated. I'm willing to do this, without hesitation. Don't you understand?' It's a strangled whisper in my ear, her own emotions beginning to overpower her strong warrior exterior. 'You have changed my heart; you have given me back my soul. You are such a part of me now that, if something ever happened to you…' I can feel hot, wet tears on my shoulder but she makes no sound. Pushing her shoulders back, I take her face between my hands; her eyes hold such sadness in them. I bring my lips to her cheek, softly kissing away the salty tears.

'Oh Xena.' I smile, shaking my head. She sniffles a little, trying to regain her composure. 'I didn't think I could love someone this much. Well except for Cle.' I bring my lips to hers, just brushing softly against them. 'Don't ever leave me.' Just thinking of her not being here makes my heart break.

The serious moment is broken by a small set of lungs first coughing, then screaming out bloody murder. Xena gives me a grin and walks over to the cradle to pick Cle up. Jumping off the table, I re-adjust my dress and pull myself back together.

It's a sight to see; Xena cradling Cle in her arms, looking down at him with the biggest smile. His crying is easing, but not by much.

'I think he's hungry.' She grins, eyes flashing brightly at me. Handing over the crying bundle, I cradle him against my chest, offering a nipple for him to suckle. Xena leans down, kissing his forehead. 'Do you think he'll make a good warrior?' She asks, almost full of pride.

'If he has you to teach him.' We kiss, languid soft kisses that seep love and devotion. 'Now, you mind going to catch something for supper? I'm getting a little hungry.' She waggles her eyebrows at me with a smirk. She quickly jumps into her leathers and grabs her sword.

'Anything for you.' She kisses my lips once more before departing with gusto. 'Well Cle,' I look down at his tiny body. 'Looks like she plans on staying.'


	5. Chapter 5

Pieces Together 5

My fingers gaze across the stalks of wheat as they wave in the wind. The field looks like an ocean of golden waves, shining in the sun. Cle reaches his stubby fingers out, trying to grab and hold on to any stalk he can reach. I can hear Xena mumbling a few feet away, so I follow the sound of her voice.

'I'm gonna to kill them.' She growls as I enter the open space she's standing in. Actually this should be covered with wheat, but a herd of cattle decided to take a trip through our field and they left nothing but a trampled path of grain.

'Well, we probably should have put up a fence.' She glares at me.

'How is that helpful now?' I shrug my shoulders. It's probably not a good idea to antagonize her right now. She's raking her fingers roughly through her hair, staring at the destruction.

'Xena, it's not like we need this.'

'That's not the point. ' Throwing her hands up in the air, she starts walking away. I follow, trying to keep a wiggling Cle in my arms.

'The point is, there's no reason to get so upset.' I can hear her mumbling under her breath. 'What's really wrong.' I can see her shoulders tense, but she doesn't stop moving. I finally manage to catch up to her, grabbing her arm to stop her at the barn 'Xena.' She's washing any emotion from her face, putting on a fake smile.

'You're right.' Kissing my forehead, she tries to walk away again.

'Xena?' Finally she turns, a small sigh escaping.

'There's news that the Romans are invading Britannia.' Oh, I get it now.

'And you want to go.'

'It's Caesar Gabrielle.' Her tone pleads with me to understand.

'It's going to get you killed.' This hatred she holds, it always eats away at her.

'You don't get it do you?' Her eyes flare angrily at me. I get it, I understand only too well. I'm not arguing with her about it this time. Shaking my head, I walk back to the house holding the tears at bay. She doesn't try to stop me, doesn't say a word; but I have to accept this is who she is. In minutes she's riding off on Argo at a break neck pace. Redirecting my feet, I decide to visit Cyrene.

Cyrene has adopted Cle like he is of her blood. I'm pretty sure if Xena did anything to mess this up, Cyrene would refuse to give Cle up. I'm glad though, she's the only kind of grandparent that seems interested in him. The walk to the tavern is mostly quiet, Cle babbling away in my arms at nothing in particular. He's only recently been able to hold his own head up. I wonder how long it will take him to learn to walk, talk; how far behind other babies is he right now?

When we're nearly to Cyrene's, she comes walking up towards me; a smile and a slightly worried look on her face.

'Oh good, I was just going to look for you.' Her arms reach out, grabbing for Cle and showering him with kisses.

'What's wrong?' We resume our walk.

'There's a couple that has been asking for you. I told them I could take them to your house, but they insisted on staying.' Hmm I wonder if it could be?

'Did they tell you their names or what they want?'

'No.' She looks over at me, slightly worried. 'Do you want me to take Cleon so you can talk to them?' I pull him back into my arms.

'No, if it's who I think, they'll want to see him.' I stop a few feet from the door. 'But can you stay close?' Cyrene rubs my back, giving me a reassuring smile.

'Of course dear.'

The tavern is empty, save for a few people. Perdicus' parents sit towards the back, their posture displaying tension and awkwardness. Cyrene gives me a pat before walking to her bar, taking up sentry duty with a rag in her hand.

'Hello.' His parents jump at the sound of my voice, both standing and looking at me with wide eyes.

'Gabrielle.' They both nod. 'Is there somewhere private we can talk?' His father asks, looking around the room.

'There's no one else here, it's private.' He glances over at Cyrene, unsure of her presence, but he gives in with a nod. They both resume their seats as I grab one across from them. His mother is staring at Cle with tears in her eyes, hands trembling slightly.

'This is our grandson?' His father asks.

'Yes, would you like to hold him?' Neither say a word. 'I'm sorry about everything that has happened.'

'No matter now.' Perdicus' father waves a dismissive hand at me. 'Before we received your message, we had already hear rumors.' His eyes pierce into mine. 'We went to see your parents and they had quite a story to tell.' There's nothing nice about this man right now; it's not how I remember him.

'I see.'

'We believe we should take…Cleon, and raise him. We can provide a better home.' I can't help but gasp in shock. Without a word, Cyrene shuffles over and takes Cle from my arms, before retreating back behind the bar.

'Why is that?' I try to contain the anger in my voice.

'Our daughter was just like him. We know how better to handle him.'

'He's not a piece of equipment?' I growl.

'No, but he is our grandson, all that we have left of Perdicus.' His mother finally speaks, voice quiet and crackling.

'I have no intention of keeping him from you.'

'Children like him do not live long, he should be surrounded by love.' I can't believe she's saying this.

'He is.'

'We've heard about that Warrior.' His father finally says; I've been waiting for this topic to show itself.

'We love you because Perdicus did, but we cannot allow our grandchild to grow up around a…savage.' His mother spits the words out in disgust.

'Xena is no savage.' I can't contain my rage any longer, they are taken back by the vehement in my words. 'And I won't sit here and let you accuse me of being a bad mother.' I shoot up, my chair sliding along the floor behind me. 'You may visit him as you please, but he is my child.'

'And you really think that warrior woman can provide for you both? She got our son killed!' Perdicus' mother now stands, letting the anger flow from her.

'And I'm sorry about that.' Xena appears out of nowhere. 'But that gives you no right to come here demanding Cle be given over to you.' Her voice is calm, but relays an anger that boils below the surface.

'I have every right!' His mother slams her fist on the table, causing her husband to wince. 'What do you know of raising children?' Her eyes scan up and down Xena.

'I understand you are grieving, but I think you should leave now.' Their eyes lock in a silent standoff, his mother though can't handle the glare Xena is leveling at her. Grabbing the arm of her husband, she pulls him up the stairs without another word. I'm too stunned and angry to really process my thoughts right now. I move away from Xena, and take Cle from Cyrene's arms. She kisses my cheek, giving me a sad smile. There's a fear building in the pit of my stomach; I'm afraid that they haven't given up yet.

Striding past Xena, I make my way out into the sunlight. Cle is beginning to become fussy in my arms, no doubt hungry and tired. We're halfway home before Xena finally decides to follow, pulling Argo along behind her.

'Gabrielle?'

'What?' The anger at the situation as leached over into the anger about Xena and the Romans.

'I won't let them take him.' Her hand is on my shoulder, putting me to a halt.

'How are you going to do that when you're off fighting the Romans?' I can't stop it, I'm angry and sad, and feeling very alone right this second. She pulls her hand away, wincing slightly.

'Gabrielle…'

'No, I do understand. I really do get it, but you are the one who doesn't get it. And as much as I don't want to be angry with you….' I trail off, shaking my head as tears fight to free themselves. 'Xena, do what you have to do. Maybe one day, you'll care about us more than about getting revenge.' I leave her standing there, my tears finally sliding down my cheeks. I love her for who she is, I just have to keep telling myself that.

Xena left without a word, packed up and headed off towards Britannia. That was two days ago; two very long days. Who knows how long she'll be gone. It's raining again, dark and gloomy outside. I'm sitting in the rocking chair, singing Cle to sleep when the door busts open; splinters fly. Roman soldiers appear on my doorstep, followed closely by their General.

'What the…!' Snatching up my staff, I clutch Cle close to my chest. The General leers at me and looks around the room.

'The bard I presume?' I refuse to respond, leveling a glare at him. 'No matter, I know who you are; Xena's little pal.' He sneers.

'What do you want? Xena isn't here.' He actually starts to laugh.

'Oh, I know. She's not what we want right now.' He waves his men forward, and they come rushing in the room. I'm not Xena, I can't possibly take on all these men and keep Cle safe at the same time.

'I'll go with you, please just let my son go.' I drop my staff and put my hand out, pleading.

'Oh no, we especially want him.' He gives a nod and his men descend on us; hands grabbing at me tightly.

'Please, he's innocent.' My begging only brings a vicious slap to my face.

'Caesar has plan for you both.' My mind begins to race. What do I do now? Luckily a contingent of Roman soldiers is hard to miss, so maybe Cyrene will get word. A soldier slides a thick coil of rope around my neck, pulling me out the door with a jerk. They let me hold Cle, but I fear falling with him in my arms.

The other end of the rope is tied to the saddle horn of a horse. The rain has already soaked me, my dress becoming nearly see through. Soldiers leer at me, lustful thoughts obviously filling their minds. One though refuses to make eye contact; he's nothing more than a boy that isn't yet battle hardened.

The General sets a quick pace, causing me to jog along behind the horse. My sandals continually get sucked into the mud, causing me to stumble every few steps. Cle is screaming in my arms, I have nothing to cover him with aside from his swaddle. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that Xena's not here to save us this time and I have no idea what to do.


	6. Chapter 6

Note: Sorry, been slowish. But still writing.

It's damp, and there's a chill in the air. We've stopped for the night, and while the soldiers huddle around fires, I'm tied to a tree with a shivering baby. I've pleaded for a blanket for over an hour, the only response I get is a fist in my face. My left eye is so swollen I can't see out of it anymore, but I can see the youngest soldier glancing over slyly every chance he gets. If I just wait it out, I know I can get him to help.

The men begin to settle to sleep, leaving two on watch in shifts. The young soldier creeps over to me, dropping his blanket over my legs.

'Please, help me.' I whisper as low as possible. He looks at me, but says nothing. 'Please save my son. I can tell you're a good person, please just save my son.'

'I'll be killed.'

'Please, take my son. You take him back to the tavern; Cyrene will help keep you safe. You don't want to do this.' His eyes shift around the camp, fear clearly emanating from him. He sighs and walks back to his bedroll, curling up with his back away from me.

Sleep is elusive, but exhaustion eventually takes over. My eyes close for what feels like a brief moment, but upon opening my eyes I notice the guards have changed. The young soldier is crouched next to me, studying me intently.

'What do you need me to do?' He whispers, leaning down close to my ear.

'Take Cle to the tavern, only give him to Cyrene; she's the owner. Tell her what happened and that you need hiding.'

'I knew I should have stayed on the farm.' He mumbles under his breath, hands shaking as her pulls Cle from my arms.

'Please keep him warm.' He looks at me with sadness and fear. 'Hurry, go now. And thank you.' I smile the best I can; he hesitates a moment longer then silently slinks into the trees behind me. I'm hoping that no one notices his absence for a while, but when it's time for shift change I don't think they'll be so blind.

A small sense of relief surges through me. I can only hope he follows through, but in the meantime I know my baby is safe. Closing my eyes I can't sleep, so I just try to pretend and wait for the chaos to begin. It's only a few hours later when a murmur starts, and quickly turns into a cry of alarms.

The General is up, fuming with fire in his eyes. After conferring with a few soldiers, he stalks determinedly towards me. I try to steel myself for the wrath that's about to hit, but I think it will be far more pain than I can imagine.

'Where is he?' His spittle flies at my face, a froth building in his mouth.

'I don't know. Maybe he crawled away when I was asleep.' Boom! My head is thrown to the side after a wicked backhand.

'And one of my men just happens to be missing too?' Pain explodes through my head as he backhands me again. 'Where are they?' He growls. I don't think he's allowed to kill me, but I'm sure he can maim all he wants.

'I told you, I don't know.' Tears are stinging at my eyes, the pain still burning my cheek. His arm shoots out, a calloused meaty hand grasps my neck choking off my air. I try to struggle, but it's hard being tied to the tree.

'Where?!' His face is a deep shade of red. I can't talk, I can barely stay conscious as my lungs slowly starve. Just as blackness closes in, he lets go of my neck. Air rushes back into my lungs, leaving me gasping and struggling to keep myself conscious. The General glares down at me, nothing but hatred on his face. I watch, as if in slow motion, as his fist comes straight at me. This is the last thing I see before stars explode in front of my eyes.

The ground is slowly going by beneath me. They've thrown me over the horse, my hands and feet tied. The men are quiet aside from the sound of feet on the earth, and metal clanging against metal. Straining my neck, I try to look around me. I think there are a few soldiers missing, most likely sent to bring the deserter and Cle back. By the God's, please let them get away.

My blood is rushing to my head, giving me a headache and tunnel vision. I can't pass out again, I was out too long as it is. The sun is setting now, I've been unconscious nearly a whole day. I ache, and my stomach is screaming for food and water.

As twilight nears, I can hear the noise of more soldiers, many more. They lead me into a camp; looks like a great deal of Caesars troops are here. Someone stomps up to me, I can see their boots caked in mud. He puts his hand on my shoulder, and with little effort, pushes me backwards off the horse. Pain explodes in my leg as I land in an awkward heap.

Another soldier cuts the rope that binds my feet then hauls me up. I'm having a hard time standing on my right foot, I don't think it's broken but it's definitely injured. A spear point is shoved into my back, pushing me forward to a large tent. This is obviously the Generals tent, or someone high up in the food chain.

I'm poked and prodded into the tent, my eyes adjusting slowly to the darkness. The soldiers turn on their heels, leaving me standing with the General.

'Ahhhh. Look what we have here.' Caesar comes out from behind a large tapestry that divides the tent. My stomach drops at the site of his evil grin. He's not supposed to be here.

'What do you want with me?' I stand as straight as my body will allow, trying to put on an air of defiance. He chuckles evilly, his face completely smug.

'Looks like Xena took the bait.' His speech is slow and calm. 'I do so wish to end this feud with her. Of course I mean to do so by her death.' His lip curls in a sneer. 'And you will help me accomplish that.' He looks back and forth from me to the General as he sits upon his throne. 'I thought there was a child?'

'No sir, those rumors proved to be false.' The General speaks as if it's the truth. No doubt he doesn't wish to be crucified for failing.

'Chain her to the pole.' He waves dismissively, picking up a scroll to read. The General roughly grabs my arm, practically throwing me out of the tent.

'Tie her up.' He grunts to a guard just outside. I'm led to a wooden pole, staked up in the center of the camp. My back is pushed up against it, as the guard shackles my hands to a ringlet at the top. This forces me to stand until I can't stand anymore.

I'm left alone, yet surrounded by Roman soldiers. Leers and crude statements float on the air towards me. For the moment, most are busy with their tasks; but as night comes, those men will not hesitate to show me their excitement.

A fire is set up near me; more for the light then the warmth. I watch as the camp begins to settle for the night; fires springing up like weeds. Men begin to wander perilously close, grabbing their crotches and spitting out disgusting innuendo. Some just out right tell me what they want, their breath reeking as they lean in close for effect.

I just need to survive. As long as Cle has made it home safely, then it doesn't really matter what happens to me. I'm not Xena; I'm not used to this sort of treatment. I can barely stand on my ankle, but I have no choice. I'm not sure how long I can last with no food and no water.

Gruff, caloused hands grope at me; Caesar himself encouraged this torture. I think he enjoyed watching for a few minutes before retreating back to his sanctuary. I can't cry, that will only fuel these mens perverted fantasies. Stand tall, stand proud, stay alive.


	7. Chapter 7

Pieces Together 7

I'm hanging from my wrists, unable to even hold my head up anymore. Blood drips down my arms from where the shackles eat into my wrists. I wasn't able to stand long; unable to put much pressure on my ankle, my body quickly gave out. Men groped and prodded at me until they went to sleep, leaving only the guards to leer.

Why do I always have to be bait? And who knows how long it will take Xena to realize she's been put on a wild goose chase? Caesar wants to force her hand, make her reckless in any rescue attempt. I know that if anything happens to me, she'll never forgive herself. I need her to live for Cleon because I may not.

Hours move by at a snail's pace, each second draining my reserve. It feels like days go by before the sun begins to rise over the hill. How long am I expected to be here? A soldier marches up to me, grabbing the back of my head to pull it up. He lifts a water skin to my lips and begins to pour until I begin to choke. Laughing, he drops my head and walks away. That little bit of water only caused my thirst to increase ten fold.

I begin to drift in and out of consciousness; I even begin to see Xena standing in front of me. But she comes and goes with my sanity so I know she's not real. The soldiers have taken to throwing things at me as they pass, somehow finding time to torture me in between drills. It feels like I've been hanging here by my wrists for weeks, but I don't even think it's been a day yet. God's I'm so weak; why'd I ever think I could travel with Xena?

'You're not weak.' Fake Xena says, crouching down in front of me.

'Yes I am. You could last days; I can barely last hours.'

'Some can't even last minutes.' Fake Xena gives me a small smile.

'But what good does that do me?'

'You have a son to live for.'

'I can't make it.'

'You have to make it.' Her face is serious.

'Where are you? Why did you leave?' Tears drip down my cheaks.

'I'm sorry; I never should have left. I'm coming. I'll be here soon.' Her hand reaches out, but just as it's about to touch my face, she's gone.

Oblivion. I'm somewhere in oblivion because I know this isn't Tartarus, and this definitely isn't the Elysian Fields. All noise has become a dull roar; all pain has melded together so I cant pick out what specifically hurts. I can't keep my eyes open anymore; my mouth is so dry I think my tongue is flaking. I can't make out what's going on around me anymore. For all I know they could be putting me up on a crucifix. At this point I hope they are; the end will come quicker.

Again Xena comes to me; her voice coming through the fog. I have to fight to open my eyes; I can barely manage. She's looking at me crying. I would cry too but I have no more moisture left in my body. She's talking, but I still can't make out her words through the din of noise. Focus. Focus.

'Gabrielle?' She's saying my name over and over. I'm looking up at her, which is odd because I shouldn't be able to. Her fingers are sweeping back and forth across my forehead as her tears fall onto my face.

'Why are you crying?' I can barely talk. My voice is dry and crackly; I barely make a noise. She gives a small laughs and cries harder, hugging me to her body. Suddenly, in my delirious state, I realize I'm no longer shackled. I don't think I'm even in the camp anymore. 'Am I dead?'

'No.' Her lips are pressed against the top of my head. 'We're in a wagon; I'm taking you home.' She squeezes me tighter and I don't mind the pain.

'Home?'

'I'm sorry.' She whispers. She should be, but I'm not angry right now. 'The whole way here, I prayed to you. I prayed that you could hear me.'

'I could.' My eyes can no longer stay open, my brain can no longer stay alert.

'I'm sorry.'

Bright light suddenly erupts before my eyes; causing me to jerk awake and turn away.

'Oow.' Everything hurts; from my ears to my toes. Wait, where am I? With horrible effort I manage to sit up and look around. I think I'm in a room, but one I've never seen before. This isn't the tavern, my house, the Amazons, or any number of places I've visited. Where the Hades am I? And what the Tartarus happened? I remember being shackled to a pole in the middle of Caesars camp. This is obviously not a pole in a camp.

I want to walk, but when I try to move my legs I find they are too stiff and sore to bend. Now I begin to notice the state of my body. My wrists are wrapped in rags, but the pain tells me more than enough. Bruises radiate throughout my body in varying colors and sizes.

'Hey.' They quiet voice brings my eyes up to the doorway. Xena is standing there in a simple dress.

'Where's all you're stuff?' Of all the things to ask, this is the first thing out of my mouth.

'Don't need it.' She's leaning against the frame, arms folded across her chest.

'Cle?' Somehow I know he's fine.

'Playing with Ignacious.' She can't seem to stop smiling and I can't seem to start.

'Start from the beginning.' My mouth is dry, my stomach is cramping; but I need to hear this first. She sighs, the smile disappears and her eyes shift down. After a while she moves from the doorway, sitting facing me at the end of the bed. There's sadness and regret in her eyes as she looks over at me.

'As soon as I left I regretted it, but then I found out it was a diversion. I raced home as fast as I could but….' She looks away, ashamed of her actions. 'I didn't know what to do. If I ran in to his camp I knew for sure that he'd kill you both. But I knew you'd die if I didn't get there quick enough. By some sheer stroke of luck, Hercules was on his way to visit. We managed to gather up a militia and with Hercules in the lead, they created a diversion at one end of the camp while I snuck in and got you out. I don't think Caesar would have fallen for it except for the fact he heard Hercules was fighting. He's a smug bastard.'

'And Caesar?'

'Moved on.'

'Where are we?'

'Hercules has a few hiding spots. This is one of them.' I'm looking at her, with her long black hair cascading down her shoulders, and tan skin glowing in the morning sunlight. I can feel the anger slipping away as I take her in, but not fast enough.

'You'll go after him again.'

'No, I'm done with that. It was a mistake; you and Cle are what matter.' There's a look of desperation on her face.

'If not him, someone else.' I watch a tear come to her eye.

'I'm sorry Gabrielle. I should have been there.' I know she's sorry. Her brow furrows as her mouth firms into a thin line. 'I love you. When I left to Britannia I almost immediately turned back. I knew it was a mistake right away.' My body is aching and memories of my short stay in Caesars camp are beginning to resurface.

'Will you hold me?' A small glint a hope shines in her eyes. She crawls across the bed and helps me to lie back down before gently wrapping her arms around me.


	8. Chapter 8

Note: Trying to work on all my stories. Slow going as I've got stuff going on. Sorry. :{

Pieces Together 8

Caesar is standing in front of me with his smug look, casually biting into an apple. He's asking me something but I can't hear the words. I respond, but I can't understand what I'm saying. It's bad, I know it's bad whatever it is; I shouldn't be saying it.

'Gabrielle!' Xena is screaming my name and shaking me violently awake.

'What?' I'm groggy and confused by her panic.

'What did you tell him?'

'Who?' What's going on, I was just sleeping wasn't I?

'Caesar. What did you tell Caesar!?' Her grip on my arms is digging deep into my skin.

'Nothing. I can't remember. I don't know.' So much of the time was spent in some sort of delusional state. Xena growls, practically throwing me back onto the bed. 'What?!'

'You told him!' She's accusing me.

'Told him what?'

'You told him about Solan!' She's screaming in my face now.

'What?'

'You talk in your sleep!' Xena begins pulling her leathers on.

'Wait Xena..'

'No, shut up!' She stuns me into silence; my eyes immediately sting with tears. It takes seconds for her to gather her gear and run out of the room; and seconds for me to break down into sobs. Minutes later Cyrene comes running into the room, clearly confused as she doesn't even know who Solan is.

'Gabrielle?' She's rubbing my back, trying to calm me enough so I can speak. It's an impossible task as I can barely even breath. I didn't even know I had told him anything. I wouldn't have told him but I was delirious from a lack of water. I was weak and he took full advantage of it. Xena has every right to hate me; and if anything happens to Solan… Even if nothing happens to him, I don't blame Xena if I never see her again.

Eventually I fall into a fitful sleep plagued with nightmares. I wake up sweating, my body aching even more than before. Cyrene is still by my side so I don't think I've been asleep long.

'Here, drink this.' She hands me some tea.

'Cleon?'

'I've given him some goats milk, he's sleeping.' I sigh, awkwardly getting off the bed to transfer into a chair. 'Are you ready to tell me why my daughter ran out of here like Hades was on her heels?' I nod slowly, not sure if I should really tell her.

'When I was captured, I told Caesar something I shouldn't have.' I sip the bitter liquid, trying to keep myself from crying.

'But surely Xena doesn't blame you for anything?' She looks shocked and confused.

'I told him about Xena's son Solan.'

'What?' Her voice is a trembling whisper.

'She had a child when she was still a warlord. She gave him up so he could have a normal life.' Cyrene has gone silent, a first for her. 'Xena's never going to forgive me.'

'She has a son?' She's looking somewhere else, I can only imagine what she's thinking. 'And she never told me?' That's it, she gets up and leaves with a flourish; leaving me alone once more. Well if Xena didn't hate me before, she definitely does now.

The days go by so slowly. I'm not even sure how many pass before I finally see Xena and Hercules sauntering back slowly down the road. One thing I don't see is Solan; but I'm hoping it's because he's safe somewhere else.

My hopes are dashed as I see Xena's face; grim and angry and avoiding my eyes. Hercules gives me a small smile and a hug as he dismounts, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and leading me back toward the house.

'We were too late.' His deep voice is just above a whisper. I can't contain the gasp that bursts forth. He's shaking his head at me, not letting me look back at Xena. 'This isn't your fault Gabrielle, but she is angry.'

'This is all my fault.' My hands clasp over my mouth. We should leave, she's not going to want to see us ever again. I want to hold her and comfort her, but I know she hates me. 'I should leave.' I try to pull away from his grasp.

'No, I wont let you. That's not going to solve anything.'

'But if I don't, she will. It's better if she stays.' If Xena leaves she'll only get herself killed.

'I won't let her leave either. Don't worry.' He gives me a small reassuring smile.

I'm not so sure as I watch Xena, silent and brooding, lead the horses into the small stable. Her posture is telling everyone to stay away; I don't even think she'd want to touch Cle at the moment, he'd probably remind Xena of her own son. It might be best for me to just stay out of her way, no matter how much I want to invade her space and pull her into my arms.

'No.' Is all I say to Cyrene, shaking my head sadly as I walk by the small kitchen. I pick Cle up off the floor and retreat back to a small bedroom in the very back corner. We had been sleeping in a bigger room, but somehow this feels more appropriate. I'm still trying to recover from my ordeal, my body is refusing to heal very quickly.

Laying Cle next to me on the tiny bed, I curl my body around his and close my eyes. I'm not going to sleep but my head is aching and this relieves it somewhat. I want to cry, but I wont let myself, not yet. Cle is fussing beside me, but only because he needs a nap. When will things be normal? Will they ever?

'Why are you in here?' Her voice is soft but full of pain. My head pop up, I can't contain the surprise that she's standing there.

'I didn't think you'd want to see me.' My words are somewhat stuttered and I almost don't get them out.' She's looking at me, nearly unreadable but her eyes scream sadness.

'Why?'

'It's my fault.' Her head drops and I see a tear fall to the floor. Then she moves, squeezing in against me on the tiny bed, her body molding against mine as her arm wraps around my waist. She buries her head in the back of my neck and I can feel the hot tears stinging my skin. 'I'm sorry.' I whisper. But she can't talk right now; all she can do is mourn.


	9. Chapter 9

Note: Had bronchitis/pleurisy/asthma. My lung still hurts. Bleh, back to the writing. This is super short.

Pieces 9

I'm sitting at one end of the bed, Cle curled into my chest feeding noisily. Xena is sitting on the edge of the bed, back towards me with shoulders that sag in defeat. She finally took off all her armor and gear, and now sits in just a shift. We've been silent but I have no doubt that both our thoughts have been in constant motion.

'Xena? Can you forgive me?' She's silent but I can see the muscles in her back twitching. 'I would never do it on purpose.' This is cold comfort I'm sure.

'You shouldn't have been there in the first place.' Her voice is low, somehow menacing.

'What did you want me to do? I couldn't fight off all those Roman soldiers with a baby in my arms!' She mumbles something. 'You shouldn't have left.'

'I should be able to leave you alone for five minutes without worrying if you can defend yourself.' She's refusing to turn but her back is straightening in defiance with each word she speaks.

I know she's dealing with guilt and grief in the only way she knows how, but for some reason I can't help but lash out against her. I can't take it, not after everything I've been through.

'Xena, you need to make up your mind. I'm not a warrior, I'm just a bard and a mother and I did the best that I could. Every time I need you, you're gone. Tell me what you want?' I'm pleading in as quiet a voice as possible, trying not to upset the sleeping baby in my arms. Xena's answer is silence and a stiff back. I want to yell and scream at her, but what would that accomplish. We've never really had a chance to settle down and feel like a family anyway.

If it wasn't for Cle, I'd be running out of the room. Instead I just shuffle out quietly, contemplating my escape. Deep in thought as I walk down the hallway, I run into the human wall of Hercules. He looks down at me sternly, as if he can read my thoughts past, present, and future.

'You know she'll run right?' He just gives me a small nod.

'Don't worry, I'll take care of Xena. You just worry about the little one.' He head jerks toward Cle. 'You can sleep with Xena's mother. I've got it all set up.'

'I didn't know Hercules could be so bossy.' I mumble, but smile at him.

'Well I am the son of Zeus.' He smirks, walking away with a slight swagger.

My problem is I care; my problem is I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. I want everything to be ok but there's nothing I can do to fix this; nothing I can say to make her pain a little less. My fear though, is that she can't forgive me for something I couldn't control.

I walk out into the cool night air, and sit, back against a small tree. Cle's eyes look up at me as they slowly drift back closed. An overwhelming feeling of guilt washes over me as I sit here looking at my son. As I watch the person I love descend into the depths of pain; I hope never to understand the loss she feels. Is that selfish of me? Should I be seeking to understand in some little way where she's falling? Xena is not like most people; her grief can lead her back to the darkness that dwells within. She's slowly leaning toward that precipice that she cannot escape.

'Let me take him to bed.' Cyrene's voice is soft but in the silence of the night, she sounds as if she is yelling. No other words are passed between us as she carries her adopted grandchild back into the warmth of the house.

I can't feel sorry for myself; I can't give up on Xena and let her darkness consume her. I will not fail her when she needs me.


	10. Chapter 10

Pieces Together 10

She is looking at me, but at the same time, her eyes are vacant and seem focused elsewhere. Her hand is making vigorous strokes down the sides of Argo as she brushes the horse. I look down at my feet, shuffling in the dirt; I just don't know where to begin. Xena is silent, her gaze has shifted back to Argo but her body remains stiff.

'Xena, I can't let you return to everything you've been working so hard to get away from.' I can barely find my voice at first, but soon the words just rush out. 'I'm going to help you get past this; even if you hate me I won't see you turn evil again.' Xena continues to brush Argo; no sound or even hitch in her movement to show she's been listening.

'Please, say something.' If I have to beg, I will.

'Just leave it.'

'Xena..' She turns quickly on her heel, eyes narrowing as she faces me.

'I said leave it.' She growls. Unconsciously I take a step back as I see the rage glowing in her face.

'Please don't.' She wants revenge and I think she'll go to any extreme to accomplish it.

'I have to.' Sadness washes over her, the anger dissipating for a moment.

'Let me help then.'

'No!' Xena swings back around, throwing her saddle on Argo's back. I take my chances and hedge forward.

'It was my fault that this happened.'

'And it was because you couldn't manage to fight off a few soldiers.' She pulls the strap tight, buckling the saddle and turning to face me again. 'And you think you'll be anything but a hindrance?' Her words sting; they more than sting, they gauge deep marks into my heart.

'I know you don't mean that.' My words are choked. She wants me to get angry, to push away so she doesn't have to.

'You said it yourself, you're a bard not a warrior. I don't really need a bard for this.'

'How about someone who loves you?'

'Don't you get it?!' Her brow scrunches up as she leans in closer for emphasis. 'This is not your battle to die for.'

'If it's yours, then it's mine.' I reach out, grasping her forearm in as tight a grip as I can manage. She's shaking her head and trying to pull away from me. 'Xena, I'm tired of this; you think I won't follow you?' She sighs, silently giving up. 'Please?' After a moment she shakes loose from my grasp.

'Fine.' She says, jumping onto Argo's back and taking off with a yell. I know I shouldn't go with her because I have my own child to worry about; but there's no way I'm going to let her do this herself. I hope death isn't waiting for us at the end of this journey.

'You shouldn't do this.' Cyrene is pacing back and forth in the kitchen, trying to do her best to dissuade me from going with her daughter. The sun is beginning to set and Xena hasn't returned yet.

'Just promise me you'll take care of him.' Cle is sitting on top of the table in front of me examining his toy as if it's something he's never seen before. This is hard and I think it will be too easy for me to just back out and let Xena go alone.

'Of course dear but he needs his mother, not an old woman to take care of him.' Her palms slap against her thighs.

'You know I can't stop Xena from slipping back into the darkness if I'm not there to stop her.' Cyrene shakes her head and goes silent.

'I fear that I will lose both of you.' She whispers, sitting down slowly into her chair.

'I will do everything I can to make sure we both come back alive. '

'What will this accomplish?'

'Maybe nothing, but it's something Xena has to do. I don't think she'll rest now until Cesar is dead.'

'He won't rest until I'm dead. Might as well give him what he wants.' Xena's voice is low as she appears out of nowhere.

'You dead?' Cyrene asks, tears brimming in her eyes.

'One of us has to die mother, or this will never end.'

'But what about Gabrielle?'

'She's an adult.' There's sarcasm dripping in her voice.

'But…'

'I don't want her to come, but she insists.' She throws a glare in my direction, finally acknowledging my existence. 'We begin training in the morning; I can't have you come if I'm going to have to watch you every second.' She turns away, disappearing into the darkness of the hall. It feels like she hates me, but even if she does I cannot let her go alone; I'd never forgive myself.

TBC

Continued in These Pieces Don't Fit.


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